Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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