Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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