I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
