Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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