Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
