Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
this is an emotional support booty call
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
