It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
