How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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