Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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