Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Randomize
