SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You dont lie about slip and slides
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
