This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
