okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
