is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
