Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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