How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
it glows. i had to have it.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
