Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
