He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Randomize
