Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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