Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize