Midget sex pt 2 tonight
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
