u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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