My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
