I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize