There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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