I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
