Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm jealous of your bromance
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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