But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
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you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
