All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
