I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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