hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
