my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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