Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
