GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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