Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
