just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
