She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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