well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
