Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
