Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
