i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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