I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
