It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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