Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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