So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We are two peas in an std pod
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
