I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
