Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry mrsdiddy hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(214): View more from Texas

In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.

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(541): View more from Oregon

at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.

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(510): View more from California

I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk

(415): View more from California

yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta

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(315): View more from New York

some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm

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(216): View more from Ohio

What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?

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(305): View more from Florida

She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf

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