I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
