if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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