Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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