they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
