That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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