Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
