Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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