So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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