Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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