Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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