I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize