No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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