Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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