he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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