i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize