allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
