I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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