Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
