made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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