I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
