is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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