the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize