Small penises have feelings too.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
