Umm I'm too high to move.
If that was your dad, he is hot
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
