Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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